What is Your Love Language?

When we love someone — not limited to our life partner but also for everyone around us, we always try to make them happy in any way. Sometimes when we do that to them, we assume that they will like the “way” that we do to them. But in reality, not everyone can accept the way we do. Because sometimes the way we do to please them is only based on our thinking about the “way” that we like if others do it to us. It’s okay, maybe you just don’t know what is their love language.

What I want to share to you here is about “Love Languages”. I found this as an interesting topic — maybe because I like to build relationships with people (?) — so here we go! What is “Love Languages”?

According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Every person has their one dominant love language. For example, my love language is Words of Affirmation. I love it when people give me nice words or encourage me through words, because those words make me feel loved.

Once you know what love language your loved ones have, it’ll be very easy for you to make them happy and feel loved! Let’s learn those five love languages:

Words of Affirmation

This love language expresses love with words that build them up.

People who are close to me definitely know that this is my love language because I love to encourage people around me through words. People with this love language will usually feel loved if they hear nice words from people around them. Every word you say to them, they can remember it all day long. Encourage them, compliment them, and appreciate them using words. Insults can leave them shattered and are not easily forgotten by them. They thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build them up.

Quality Time

This love language is all about undivided attention.

Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there makes them feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to be present at an appointment can be hurtful to them. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with them or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with them through sharing time.

Time is free, but it’s priceless…

Receiving Gifts

This love language doesn’t mean in a materialistic way.

If they speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that they are known, they are cared for, and they are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to them. It’s not the price of the gift that is important, but the meaning behind the gift. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to them of your love and affection for them.

Acts of Service

This love language should apply to people whose motto is: “Actions speak louder than words.”

When you serve them out of love (and not obligation), they will feel truly valued and loved. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, and picking up a prescription are all acts of service. They require some thought, time, and effort.

It looks difficult to do something that you don’t like to do, but if you also speak this love language, it will be easy for you to please the person whose love language is also Acts of Service.

Physical Touch

To people with this love language, there is no deeper expression of the heart than physical touch.

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm — they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

Physical Touch is my second language after Words of Affirmation. It’s amazing somehow I can feel safe and loved if I got a physical touch from someone I care.

So, what is your love language?

And what is your loved ones’ love language?

Generally, the way people please other person is based on the love language they own themselves, because they think it can make other people happy too. Maybe this can be your indicator to determine what their love language is.
And that’s why I feel like it’s easier for me to get along with the one who has the same love language with me.

P.S.: it’s true because I’ve found some friends whose love language is the same as mine. They like to give words to others, and so do I. So we often exchange encouraging words that can make our days.